We fell in love in a fictional place

So I’ve met someone. It’s not my intention to break too many hearts here, but let me complacently say, I think it just might be love. I have fallen head over oxford-style-heels for Downton Abbey. Like all worthwhile romances, it caught me off guard; I wasn’t looking to commit, but it wooed me. Believe you me, this is soul mate type stuff. Yes, I realize Dr. Phil would probably diagnose me certifiable for my newfound emotional attachment to a television show, but let me make one thing clear: I Love TV and do not particularly care for Dr. Phil.

Much like so many fleeting relationships, television shows float in and out of my life; sometimes they are fun and sometimes they are heartbreaking. There are those I’m willing to commit to long term, those that don’t meet my expectations, those I like but to which am too ashamed to admit, some I’ve cried over when they’ve ended (cough Gilmore Girls cough) and some, even though they meant a lot to me, I’ve sadly lost touch with.

As with any relationship, there is nothing better than the promise of a new one. The giddiness, the excitement, the anticipation, the OMFG! DID THAT JUST HAPPEN moments. It is almost too much for one girl to handle. So yes, I have developed a crush and have all the tell tale signs (much, I assume, to the annoyance of all my friends).

I can’t focus on anything else. Forget being productive at work or going to the gym. I am far too preoccupied day dreaming about Matthew Crawley. How does anyone expect me to focus after I just found out William has enlisted in the army? A few days ago, I’m ashamed to admit, I actually started spelling the noun “downtown” sans the second w.

I can’t talk about anything else. I constantly think of ways to bring it up in conversation. I find myself starting every sentence with “This one time on Downton Abbey...”, or “Well on Downton Abbey they...” and if those can’t be finagled into conversation, I make an abrupt transition by yelling out “I’ve started watching Downton Abbey!” and hope for the best.

Even the slightest bit of contact gives me butterflies. Articles, tweets, brief mentions in strangers’ conversations I overhear on the subway; I find it all terribly thrilling.

I really want to introduce it to my friends, but am also really nervous they won’t like it. I really want my friends to meet Mr. Bates, Daisy, Lady Sybil and Mrs. Patmore so we can gab about how great they all are. I really want them to despise Thomas, fear Mrs. O’Brien and share in my annoyance yet admiration of Lady Mary; but I’m anxious they won’t. Won’t understand what I see in it.

Other plans don’t seem as important. I am not saying I’ve actually bailed on any plans, yet. What I am saying is that when my brunch plans got cancelled this past Saturday I fully embraced the opportunity to make myself a cup of tea and bask in the sexual tension brewing between Lady Sybil and Bronson.

I’ve started to ignore people. This may come as a shock to you, but last Sunday I was watching Downton when unbeknownst to me the clock struck 10pm and I barely gave a millisecond of thought to watch Kim and Kourtney Take New York (disgraceful, I know). Yes, this does upsets me and I don’t condone this behaviour, it’s just not right.

If you haven’t yet embraced a new exclusively one-sided love affair with Downton Abbey, then you’re either a soul-less cretin of a human or you just can’t get down with old-timey period acting. For shame. Just know that you are missing out on some serious classic television that will be talked about for years to come, be prepared to be totally out of the loop. I suspect that you are the same jerks who eschewed Mad Men with a hasty fist. That really blew up in your face didn’t it?

Cordially yours,

Lady Lauren

Inspiration: The bedside Table

How to Learn Big Words by Watching Movies and TV

Honestly, who doesn’t get a thrill out of using a big, sophisticated word in casual conversation? Yes, this can be a challenge for those of you who don’t love carrying around a pocket thesaurus everywhere. But here is what we can suggest: watch a lot of TV and movies. We owe some early self-awareness and articulation to an unwavering love for television and movies. If you racked your own brain you too would be spewing out vocabulary diamonds courtesy of Cher Horowitz, the kids of Capeside and Bayside High and of course your favourite villains. Words can dazzle anyone and maybe even get you bumped up a full letter grade on that pesky English paper.  Below are a few of our personal favourites:

Spo•rad•i•cal•ly
adverb

Josh: Be seeing you.
Ty: Yeah, I hope not sporadically.

The word sporadic is poetically defined in the classic teenage comedy Clueless. Cher Horowitz, in a valiant effort to makeover her friend Ty, tries to enhance her vocabulary with a new word each day. In the process she expands all of our minds, by stating: 'Sporadic means once in a while. Try using it in a sentence today,' and that we continue to do. Every once in a while bringing this gem out into conversation will make you think of how proud she’d be.

Trove
noun

Arielle (in song): Look at this trove, treasures untold. How many wonders can one cavern hold?

Defined in the Little Mermaid as Arielle spiritedly sings the classic song Part of Your World. A trove is a collection of objects. Our dear Arielle has a treasure-trove of mostly human objects she has collected and hid away from her father. In a slightly creepy stalker move she adds a statue of her love interest Eric to said trove. No judgment, we all have our “trophies”.

Ves•ti•bule
noun

Chandler (thinking): I'm trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre. Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that's the part you should be focusing on, you idiot.

This word is classically used in the Friends episode “The One with the Blackout.” During a blackout Chandler Bing gets trapped in an ATM vestibule with a famous model. Chandler is mostly tongue-tied (aside from offering the model gum) but he manages to provide us with a fabulous word for describing our lobbies, hallways and entrances. When you ask people to meet you in your vestibule, colour yourself impressive.

De•vi•ant
adjective

Gina: Well ‘Sinead O'Rebellion.’ Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behaviour.

Introduced to us in Empire Records when Gina mockingly reacts to the fact that angst filled Debra has just shaved her head in the bathroom. Debra replies, “God that is so clever. I swear you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.” Indeed Debra, we all just got smarter.

Cat•a•ton•ic
adjective

Sloan: You saw me? I thought you were catatonic or something.

Catatonic is one of the more sophisticated words used in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. It is used to reference the state of paralysing shock experienced by Cameron after he realizes he is going to get found out for “borrowing” his father’s precious Ferrari. This word is useful when cleverly describing a particularly drab/boring individual, as in “that person sends me into a catatonic state.” BAM.

Syc•o•phant
noun

Frederick: I thought we liked stripes this year.
Cruella De Vil: What kind of sycophant are you?
Frederick: Uh... what kind of sycophant would you like me to be?

Cruella De Vil, who we all know from 101 Dalmatians, delivers this gem and finding ways to be as cool as to incorporate it into a conversation is a challenge that you should accept. It’s particularly enjoyable when the brownnoser you’re describing doesn’t understand the phrase and/or you are truly enraged by their incessant need to please. Throw on your fur coat and your disdain.

Bar•bar•ic
adjective

Slater: My great-grandfather was brave too. He was a bullfighter.
Zack: That's cool.
Jessie: Nah, bullfighting is barbaric.
Slater: No it isn't, bullfighting's a sport.
Jessie: It would only be a sport if the bull has a sword, too.

Thank you Jesse Spano, beloved Saved by the Bell character for showcasing how to powerfully incorporate this into daily vocabulary. If she said it once she said it a million times, up there with referring to AC Slater as a macho and chauvinistic pig, sometimes she wasn’t that sophisticated. Yes, she may have made feminist seem annoying and whiney, but she at least provided us with some delightful terms to utilize along the way.

Sol•ace
Noun

Joey: I didn't intend for this to happen, Dawson.
Dawson: Joey, what you intended does not provide me any solace!

Those pesky kids of Capeside, particularly the ever exhausting Dawson Leery were repeat offenders when it came to conducting mundane conversations with profoundly adult words. Yes, it’s okay to be jealous. This particular gem comes from the pivotal episode “The Longest Day,” when Pacey and Joey decide to reveal to Dawson the feelings they have for one another. We revisited this episode recently; Dawson thinks Joey’s at the library, but she’s really making out with Pacey in a boathouse! Obviously the truth is revealed and Dawson loses himself in sorrow but not before he yells out the above; that poor guy couldn’t get any solace!

Verbosely yours,

Us

Beauty Advice: Natural Face

Focus on staying warm with these no-fuss everyday looks!

Score!

So obviously Ryan Gosling did not show his fine self on last night’s red carpet, lame. What this means for us however, is that we went to a lot of effort to speculate about his wardrobe for absolutely NOTHING, our apologies.

On the bright side, Canada’s own Mr. Sir Elton John, also known as David Furnish, turned up looking fabulous; in a jacket very similar to those we had our beady little eyes on last week. Please refer to What Will They Wear: Volume 1.

Mr. Furnish is the new Mr. Gosling.

Okay, yes this is pushing it, but please give us this as we need to keep our dignity intact.

Psychically yours,

Us

Feast your eyes on this:

Morning After: Golden Globes

The Hollywood A-List dressed to impress last night as they gathered at the Beverly Hilton Hotel, to drink free Moet and hand out Golden Globes in honour of the best film and television of the year. Conversely, I gathered in my apartment to drink cheap wine, in my finest of sweatpants and criticize the best in film and television. It was lovely.

As per usual, much happened. Some categories were shockers, some were predictable. Some people looked good, some people looked not good. Ryan Seacrest looked miniature while the Cloonmeister General looked heavenly. Ricky Gervais played it safe and Madonna played it pretentious, if not slightly cunning. Below I have compiled my high and lowlights. I said to Caitlin yesterday, (which she claims is the stupidest thing I’ve ever said to her, I disagree): All I want is to be there and to be on the arm of Leonardo DiCaprio. But I guess writing this will have to be enough, for now.

Best dressed girl: Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci Premiere
Honourable mentions: Viola Davis, she’s no longer the help in Emilio Pucci and Claire Danes in J. Mendel

Best dressed guy: Leonard DiCaprio in Armani
Honourable mentions: Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ewan MacGregor

Most endearing: Melissa McCarthy blushing as the audience chuckled at the Bridesmaids package, shedding a tear for Octavia Spencer and looking adorable with her husband on the red carpet.


Sexiest Couple: Out of left field, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan. Yeah, Brad and Angie are obviously always bringing the sexy, but for some reason we weren’t looking at them. I also enjoyed Octavia Spencer’s reaction to Channing coming out on stage, priceless.


Best moment: When Christopher Plummer said, “Thank you to my wife, Elaine, whose bravery and beauty haunts me still.” Captain Von Trapp, you had me at hello.

Table I wanted to be at: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett and Co. I died when Tina made her way into the shot as Amy’s nomination was announced. Can we all be best friends?

Worst Dressed Girl: Zooey Deschanel. We say this with heavy hearts.
Dishonourable mentions: Sarah Michelle Gellar in Monique Lhuillier and Lea Michele in Marchesa

Worst Guy: Rob Lowe. I credit this observation to my viewing companion Kelly, who as Mr. Lowe exited his car, turned to me and said: “and its Rob Lowe looking like he's coming hot off a bender.”


Most annoying: Jessica Biel. Sharing a chair with Selma Hayek, playing peek-a-boo with Julianne Moore and wearing what appeared to be a previously owned Victorian wedding gown. The only worthwhile Biel sightings are those involving Justin, but he was MIA, why was she even there?


Worst Couple: Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes. Thanks for not coming, and after we dedicated an entire week and blog post to speculating what you might wear and if you would or wouldn’t show up together. Thanks a lot. (For obvious reasons, these two are not pictured.)

Awkward Moment: Seth Rogen called out the weirdness of Michelle Williams being nominated in a comedy and made an uncomfortable erection joke; Kate Beckinsale did look hot though so kudos.

Table I didn’t want to be at: Paula Pattons. Over the top doesn’t begin to describe her last night, what was that!? It was fake, unnecessary and I’m pretty sure at one point I heard her whoop from her seat.


Goldenly yours,
Lauren

Inspiration: Decorating Small Bedrooms