Morning After: The Academy Awards

So, the Super Bowl of award shows has come and gone, and after a tight race of highs and lows, the Oscars once again culminated the season in tears, laughs and cringe worthy moments that are best enjoyed over a glass of wine and a profusion of cheeses (we aren’t feeling the best this morning...)

Like many of you we gathered to criticize, laugh and squabble over many ridiculous things, including, but not limited to, a fake Ryan Gosling sighting (NOTE: yelling out Ryan Gosling! when you actually mean Ryan Seacrest is NOT okay). Below is what we could hastily agree upon:

Best Dressed Female: Jessica Chastain in Alexander McQueen. The fit of this dress is impeccable; her hair and makeup looked auhmahzing.
Honourable Mentions: Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani; yes this looked a little crown princess of Spain, but we can't complain because she looks impeccable. Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji; the fit on this dress is stellar and it is doing exactly what it should be doing.

Best Dressed Female, if this was 1995 and a Miss Louisiana pageant: Stacey Keibler in Marchesa. The only part of this we liked was her only accessory that mattered, beau George.

Best Dressed Male: Brad Pitt
Honourable mentions: Jonah Hill. Post Golden Globes and Moneyball one of us is in hot pursuit of a Jonah Hill romance so this look oddly got one girls heart racing; judge if you must and we also adored Jason Segal; looking dashing in a slim fit navy tux.

Best Couple: Viola Davis in Vera Wang and husband Julius Tennon, who much to our praise urged her to rock her natural, wig-less hair last night. Yes! Loved it.
Honourable mentions: Miss Piggy and Kermit. Obviously.

Worst Female: Rooney Mara, aging her boobs by the decade in Givenchy.
Dishonourable Mentions: Shailene Woodley in Valentino Couture, Judy Greer in Monique Lhuillier and Sandra Bullock in Marchesa; although the look is indeed interesting we can’t help but find the spindly embellishments look to resemble creepy seaweed fingers reaching for her tummy.

Worst Couple: Colin Firth and wife Livia Giuggioli in Valentino; never ever do we like to speak ill of Colin Firth, but his wife's questionable over the shoulder boulder holder looked insane, and the lack of cleavage has left us unsettled. He shouldn't have let this happen. Don’t. Get. It.

Red carpet moment we didn’t need to see: Diddy getting groomed by his assistant and possibly instagraming a photo of himself pre-carpet. Although discovered Diddy indeed has Instagram, so that’s a win. Followed!

Red carpet moment we need to see again: Sacha Baron Cohen dressed as “The Dictator” spilling Kim Jong-il ashes onto Ryan Minicrest! Poor Ryan's rage filled head looked like it was going to pop right off. Brilliant. Also shout out to Chris Harrison for giggling like a school girl in the background.

Best Look A-Likes: Tina Fey pilfering JLo’s styles with a four (possibly six!) inch bun and bouffant.
Honourable mentions: Melanie Griffith jarringly revealing what Meg Ryan will look like in 5 years time (clue: basically more haggard), one of Sacha Baron Cohen’s chicks looking suspiciously like Lana Del Rey and that women who looked exactly like Donatella Versace – auhmahzing.

Biggest disaster: Jennifer Lopez. That Zuhair Mourad dress accentuated the hips far too much while acting as a possible catalyst to an inevitable nip slip and the slits in her sleeves made her arms look like cased sausages with a tear. Her onstage appearance with Cameron Diaz exuded ditziness, and showing their unevenly matched derrieres was obnoxious. Also was this really the place to promote American Idol? I dare say no.

Best accessories: Whether vintage or modern Tiffany's, Michelle Williams, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz dazzled in delicate platinum diamond necklaces that we are still coveting.

Worst accessories: Bradley Coopers fully grown stache, ew. Again, we do not accept. Gwyneth Paltrows Tom Ford cape, loved the dress could do without the cape.

Best moment: Christopher Plummer. [To the Oscar statue]: You're only two years older than me darling, where have you been all my life? Dear Mr. Plummer, First and foremost you are looking auhmahzing (velvet tux!) and have won our hearts every time. You are a true gentleman.
Honourable mentions: Jim Rash impersonating Angelina's bazaar leg flashing go-to pose and Emma Stone enjoying the hell out of the Oscars (we like to believe we’d be just as charming ...)

Worst Moment: Being unable to hear and/or follow Billy Crystal’s opening monologue. Also, he looked insane as Tin Tin.

Surprise Hottie: Tate Taylor, director of The Help stepping in front of the camera to reveal his fine self; did everyone else’s twitter feed blow up when that guy swooped into Octavia Spencer’s seat when she won?

Surprise, you’ve had Botox: Billy Crystal and Tom Cruise. Boys, something was a little off, you were looking awfully “fresh-faced.”

Weirdest limb: Angelina Jolie's leg. Why does your leg look 85? And why did you have to show it to us? We get it; your dress has a slit. Congratulations.

Winningly yours,

The 1st Ever Bangin' Awards: Oscars Edition

True, our hearts are a flutter with anticipation at the thought of seeing the glorious confections that are unveiled during Sunday night’s Oscar red carpet, but we also find a thrill in gazing at the equally fashionable characters that these fine actors portray on the silver screen! So similarly to the academy, we gathered and voted for our Best Dressed Characters in film. Below find the winners of the 1st Annual Bangin' Awards:

*We reserve the right to issue these awards to any candidate in any professional discipline who is looking bangin’ at any time.

Best dressed male character in a motion picture

Daniel Craig as Mikael Blomkvist, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Go to look: Layering. Wrinkled shirt, vest and/or cardigan paired with jeans that fit him like a freaking glove
Enviable accessories: Scarf, leather document holder, sexy spectacles
We’d like to see him in: That leather jacket. Sure we felt bad for Lisbeth in the end, but she truly robbed us of what would have been some fashion-conscious eye candy; you win some, you lose some.

Best dressed supporting male character in a motion picture

Ryan Gosling as Jacob Palmer, Crazy Stupid Love.

Go to look: Labels. Slim fit suits, custom made shirts
Enviable accessories: Man rings, sunglasses and pocket squares
We’d like to see him in: Can we say nothing?

Best dressed female character in a motion picture

Reese Witherspoon as Marlena Rosenbluth in Water for Elephants

Go to look: Hollywood glamour. Figure-flattering evening wear with stunning necklines,
pencil skirts with belted tops.
Enviable accessories: Soft feminine scarves, ornate jewellery, riding boots and Robert Pattinson
We’d like to see her in: A quirky hat and brighter colours. She could stand to get a bit more whimsical – she is in the circus for goodness sake.

Best dressed supporting female character in a motion picture

Jessica Chastain as Celia Foote in The Help

Go to look: Bombshell. Rompers, body-conscious bright colours and patterns
Enviable accessories: Red lips, red nails, killer eye make-up and playful handbags
We’d like to see her in: A prim, southern belle dress from back in her Hilly days. Sure she rocked it!

Best dressed cast of characters in a motion picture

My Week with Marilyn

Go to look: Sexy preppy. Capri pants, collared shirts, figure-hugging skirts, three-piece suits,
chunky cardigans, tartan
Enviable accessories: Skinny belts, broaches, trench coats and scarves
We’d like to see them in: Eddie Redmayne not in those crazy wide leg pants. Was that really a style?

Best dressed animated/puppet character in a motion picture

Miss Piggy as herself in The Muppets.

Go to look: Classic. Chanel suit
Enviable accessories: Gloves, statement rings, pearls, permanent purple eye shawdow and killer heels
We’d like to see her in: Anything from Christian Dior’s spring collection

Beauty Advice: Glamour Face

With the Academy Awards quickly approaching it's time to get your pretty faces on my lovelies!

Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy V-Day everyone, rejoice! Whether you are single or attached it is time to dress yourself up in your finest of red and pink. Because you’re obviously not trying for the other 364 days of the year, spread as much love as you can to everyone you know, maybe even to that cute guy you pass everyday on your way to work (we’re looking at you “Walk Fox.”)

In the spirit of the day, and because we refuse to let the couples-only holiday gets us down, we have decided to embrace our favourite things about being single:

Sleeping in the middle of the bed in manner of period-film heroine who has suddenly taken ill and has become bed-ridden and everyone is forced to sit by her side in her time of dying.

Getting to dance my heart out to Beyonce's Single Ladies and truly meaning it.

Affectionately yours,

Morning After: Grammy Awards (Men Drippin Swagoo Edition)

This award season has shockingly brought on a new custom: our favourite men have been stealing the show. However, up against the freakish offerings posted below, everyone looks ahmahzing. Please note the omission of Adam Levine’s date (who, although didn’t quite make our freakish list, did prompt concern over her lack of a dress).

Review the following, no description necessary as le swag speaks for itself.

LL Cool J
Adam Levine
John Legend
Kings of Leon
Neil Patrick Harris (moreover why does he attend everything, not complaining but still?)

Morning After: The Grammy Awards (Freakshow Edition)

Below is a slew of celebrity guests who brought the freak at last night’s Grammy Awards. Some of these musicians were just simply up to their usual red carpet hijinks, but others have no real excuse. Ladies, we all know Gaga is the mother freak so why you think you can top her is unfathomable to us. How about we tone it down? More so, why can’t people just be normal?! Too much to ask?

Review the following, no descriptions necessary:

Nicki Minaj
Cyndi Lauper
Katy Perry (two looks are up for discussion, that camel toe speaks for itself)

Seeing Double?

Upon Beyoncé's grandiose pregnancy reveal everyone speculated about the potential looks of this unborn baby; would this baby inherit Beyoncé's stunning good looks or Jay's not-so-stunning average looks? The permutations were endless.

Here is one of the first photos released of Blue Ivy Carter (AKA Baybayoncé).

What struck me instantly about little Baybayoncé is her resemblance to actress Taraji P. Henson (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and a slew of Tyler Perry flicks). Does anyone else see this? I must admit that I have a knack for picking out a celebrity likeness in anyone or anything. She is a cute little thing and I hope to see more photos soon, if only to compare her to every female black celebrity in Hollywood.

Adoringly yours,

As seen on SJP: Volume 1

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Sarah Jessica Parker is a style icon of the grandest order. SJP is ahead of us all and we must bow down to her fashion prowess. See below for a 2012 trend she was stunting back in '05.

1. mui mui 2. Louis Vuitton 3. Dannijo 4. Abataba 5. Dannijo

Brighten Up Your Winter Wardrobe

1. Kate Spade bag 2. Hunter Boots 3. Jcrew necklace 4. Michael Kors cashmere scarf 5. Top Shop sweater 6. Gap belt 7. Toy Watch 8. Vanessa Bruno coat 9. Alexis Bittar earrings 10. Warby Parker X SUNO Sunglasses 11. Marc by Marc Jacobs knit hat 12. DV by Dolce Vita ancle boot

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