Morning After: Mad About Megan

We called it March MADMEN-ness for a reason; as there were thousands of ways things could have played out on last night’s Mad Men premiere. However, what we did not expect was Megan Draper to make a clean sweep or to go 120 minutes without an appearance from Betty Draper!

First and foremost, congratulations to those of you who got your bisou bisou on and selected Megan as your champion, well-deserved victory! It seemed to be all about her last night: her attitude, the fact she knows all about Dick Whitman (!), her insane burlesque performance, and her odd choice to clean in lingerie.

While much of the cast stayed the same, such as Pete Campbell remaining the most insufferable character on television; a lot caught us off guard as well. Below are our highlights and lowlights:

Best dressed female: Megan Draper. Loved her long sleeve short-skirted black dress she wore to the party. Also the bright orange dress she wore the following Monday at the office was perfection.

Best dressed male: Roger Sterling. Our favourite silver fox was drippin swagoo all night long. Obsessed.

Worst dressed: Peggy Olsen. Peggy Olsen, after 17 long months you still aren’t quite dressing for your body, but we love you regardless!
Dishonorable mentions: Joan's mother, shower cap and unflattering pants. Enough said.

Most Awkward Moment: Peggy and Pete looking at that baby together! Genius.
Honorable mention: Bisou Bisou. What an insane performance that was.

Most comical moments: Pete Campbell running into the cement pillar. Comedy gold really.
Honorable mentions: Harry Crane, Roger Sterling and basically everyone at SCDP making fun of bisou bisou.

Best sexual innuendo: Don referring to Joan as buxom. After Jon Hamm’s Joan/Don tryst insinuation we are of course subtly reading into everything!

Biggest creeper: Lane Pryce. Keeping that photo of Dolores, consider youself judged!
Honourable mention: Joan’s building maintenance man, take a cue from Peggy and wash your hands before holding a baby (although Pegs we saw right through that lie ...)

Worst Couple: Roger and Jane Sterling. How harsh was it when he told her to shut up?! (SIDE NOTE: what is in Long Island?) or when he said, “Why don’t you sing to me like that?” to which she replied, “Why don’t you look like that? (in reference to Don!)”

Peggy's pearl of wisdom we should all adhere to: “I shouldn’t be allowed to drink at work parties.”

Here's where we gave our points (we will leave out the unclaimed pointers):

1. First person on screen (2 points) Sally
2. First person to deliver a line (3 points) Don
3. First person to smoke/light a cigarette (2 points) Don
6. First person to check out Joan (5 points) Roger
7. First people to have sex (5 points) Don and Megan (in an oddly violent manner!)
8. First person to remove an article of clothing (5 points) Megan (we gave this to her when she not so subtly flashed Don some clev in his office!)
9. First person to tell an obvious lie (3 points) Peggy, for lying about her dirty hands when asked to hold Joan's baby!
12. First person to yell at Peggy (6 points) Megan, after we oddly thought they were friends and that Peggy was sort of her boss...
15. First person to perform adultery (4 points)Lane (he is the creepiest of creepsters when looking at the old photo of Dolores!)
16. First person Don Draper scolds (3 points; double the points if it happens in front of a room full of people) Megan (re: the party, she is learning the hard way that Don doesn't appreciate these trivial moves)
17. First person to do any actual work (2 points) Peggy, of course.
18. If anyone of ethnicity (non-Caucasian) appears on screen, all get 10 points (result! we think the amount of ethnic people can only mean an interesting season with lots of race issues.)
19. First person to deliver icy cold stare (5 points) Joan, after entering office with pram with no assistance from that meek assistant
20. First person to start an argument (3 points) Jane Sterling
21. First person to two-face someone (4 points) Roger two facing his own wife, no surprise there.
23. First male to show up in a three-piece suit (3 points) Roger. Swoon.
24. First female to show up in pants (2 points) Megan
26. First person to engage in office gossip (3 points) Peggy, she really went after the goods on Don from Megan
28. First person to reference a current event (1 point) Roger
29. First person to cry (1 point) Megan
30. First person to hold a meeting (1 point, 5 points if it's in their own office) Pete and in his own office!

March Mad Men-Ness

Allegedly something called March Madness happens at this time of year, do we care about this? Not particularly, it's sports related or so we’ve heard. What we do care about is March Mad Men-ness and game day, March 25 cannot come soon enough!

Leading up to the big show fans are getting giddy, and all eyes are on the major players coming to compete. As a diverse audience comes together to discuss tantalizing promos, magazine covers, surprise appearances on SNL and a nude photo scandal, Twitter and Facebook feeds are lit up with anticipation. Find out what is in store as Don, Roger, Peggy and Joan go head to head in the only arena that matters: Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.

We hear that it is customary for bracket competitions to flood every office, local pub and dorm room for fans to gamble away hard earned money; well let us provide you with this here helpful March Mad Men-ness Bracket. Who will come out on top? Grab a scotch and place your bets.

Click on image to view our March Mad Men-Ness Bracket (Can be printed on Legal Size paper)

Wonder how we could possible decipher a winner in each division? Here's how it works:

Points will be distributed based on the criteria listed below. At the end of the 2-hour Premiere, points will be tallied and competitors will go head to head in each category.

Example: if at the end of the episode, Don Draper has 4 points and Henry Francis has 2 points, Don will absorb Henry's 2 points and will advance to the next level with a total of 6 points. This mode will continue until a Champion is determined.(NOTE: in the Recreational division points will be distrusted based on on-screen appearances.)


1. First person on screen (2 points)
2. First person to deliver a line (3 points)
3. First person to smoke/light a cigarette (2 points)
4. First person to order a drink (5 points)
5. First person to make a drink (4 point)
6. First person to check out Joan (5 points)
7. First people to have sex (5 points)
8. First person to remove an article of clothing (5 points)
9. First person to tell an obvious lie (3 points)
10. First person to stay after hours in the office (1 point)
11. First person to land an account (5 points)
12. First person to yell at Peggy (6 points)
13. First person to get dumped (1 point)
14. First person to dump someone (5 points)
15. First person to perform adultery (4 points)
16. First person Don Draper scolds (3 points; double the points if it happens in front of a room full of people)
17. First person to do any actual work (2 points)
18. If anyone of ethnicity (non-Caucasian) appears on screen, all get 10 points
19. First person to deliver icy cold stare (5 points)
20. First person to start an argument (3 points)
21. First person to two-face someone (4 points)
22. First person to drink and drive (5 points)
23. First male to show up in a three-piece suit (3 points)
24. First female to show up in pants (2 points)
25. First person to eavesdrop on a conversation (4 points)
26. First person to engage in office gossip (3 points)
27. First person to say "Hi Glen" (2 points)
28. First person to reference a current event (1 point)
29. First person to cry
30. First person to hold a meeting (1 point, 5 points if it's in their own office)

Kate Who?

Back in January we astutely pointed out a few things we were looking forward to in 2012; if memory serves you’ll recall that Prince Harry Happenings topped that list! So for the past few weeks our days have been spent delightfully, if not strategically (toggling back and forth between spreadsheets and hotness on those pesky work computers) gazing at our one and only.

His highness has really brought the handsome on this royal tour of the Bahamas and the Caribbean. In the process showcasing swoon worthy moments, including but not limited to, sporting some serious Prince Charming attire and the ultimate displays of adorability: playing with children and talking about his Granny. Below is a compilation of moments that we are, in the simplest of definition, obsessed with:

Sovereignly yours,

The Bachelor Finale: Acne Edition

Our stream of consciousness LIVE! during the finale ...

Ben's Family:  Lindzi vs. Courtney

Time Out #1

Questions, comments and concerns for Lindzi (... the F@#$?) after meeting Ben's Family

1. You said you don't normally think about what people think about you when you first meet. Sorry so what do you think about?
2. We are sorry you had that angry zit.
3. Please provide us with a rough estimate of how long it takes for you to wash off that eye liner.
4. Ben's sisters, what is that sweater?

Time Out #2

1. Ben's mother appears to be a poor man's Martha Stewart.

2. Why is Courtney wearing that stupid high waisted dress? Courtney, you are not a 5-year old, teaching moment.

3. Again, Ben's sister, honey, that is not your sweater.

Time Out #3


Also, note: sweaters are not this families look.

The Final Dates: Lindzi vs. Courtney

Time Out #4

Questions, comments and concerns for Lindzi (... the F@#$?)

1. Why do you look so wind blown?
2. What is that yellow thing hanging from your coat? Confused.
3. This method of skiing. This is not for lovers.

Time Out #5 

1. We like Lindzi's accessories!
2. We really want to make out with someone, but not whisper THANK YOU right after.

Coming up ... Courtney you've got a mad case of the shining face. Control that shine. For goodness sakes, this is the finale.

This time out has been brought to you by:

Time Out #6

1. Ben is looking a little too Ellen Degeneres
2. We feel bad for the poor lowly intern who had to throw together that shitty scrapbook Courtney gives Ben.
3. The card, too long winded. He is obviously bored.
4. Lindzi must be feeling pretty, pretty bad right now. Has she never seen The Bachelor before? You always bring a gift!
5. Courtney is also breaking out, note to self: never go to Switzerland as the air appears to be harsh on the skin.
6. Dear Ben, if you are frustrated now in this fantasy situation you're in for a world of hurt later.
8. And what are these bells? This is far from the Sound of Music.

Time Out #7
1. Lindzi severely under dressed for her morning shot, Courtney severely over dressed.
2. Are capes some insane tradition in Switzerland upon engagement? ...the f$#@?
3. Ben, where is your cape?
4. If we hear "this woman" one more time ...
5. Note: forgive us if these people really aren't in Switzerland. It is a guess we decided to run with ...

The Reveal - Lindzi loses

1. Do you know what you look like?
2. Your cape doesn't even match your dress.
3. Hair = cone head
4. Ben you are just blathering on trying to fill the allotted time, this is painful

Lindzi, it's time to put that cape back on and go have a cry.

Again, why do these people suddenly all have acne? The stress?! This altitude?!

The Reveal - Courtney Wins. Ben loses. 

1. Nobody is happy for you. Not even Chris Harrison.
2. Lose these dominatrix gloves. How will he place that ring on there?
3. She just reacted like she won an Oscar.
4. We suspect he is wearing the same suit he proposed to Ashley in.
5. More importantly what was that big camouflage box and where did it go. Is this ABC trying to resurrect Lost?
6. For the happiest people in the world, you look slightly miserable. Who ever wrote this script dropped the ball.

The END.

Post Game Analysis. After the Final Rose.

Chris Harrison is wearing what appears to be his very own, special Neil Lane diamond encrusted, woman's engagement ring. Whether he stole it from Courtney or Kate Middleton is yet to be determined. Stay tuned.

Repelling Man 101 – The Lemon Method

In an odd turn of events we recently squabbled over who was more of a “Liz Lemon”; yes, slow day at the office. We, however, don’t construe our decidedly Lemon-like tendencies to be a bad thing as we personally admire her life choices; in particular her ability to repel the opposite sex. As two single twenty-somethings, we have also been repelling men for a few years now, but Liz possesses such finesse and aptitude. Dare we even fathom putting ourselves in the same category?! She is repelling the best of them: Matt Damon, James Franco and presumably James Marsden to come.

So if you don’t inherently repel men, allow us to provide this here helpful guide courtesy of Elizabeth Miervaldis Lemon:

(Please proceed with caution, as the following is not for the faint of heart.)


It is always wise to wear sweatpants, pull your hair back with a chip clip and use a Velcro wallet when going out on the town. At the office, wear a dickey, no full size shirt necessary. When it comes to underwear, exclusively buy your bras on eBay, by the bag load. Also a bathing suit can make a great underwear substitute.


Don’t be afraid to express a deep love of off-brand bodega cheese curls. Food is always your priority. To be safe, make it known that you will always choose a sandwich over potential suitors. In order to show off your feminine qualities “shot gun” entire pizzas. When a guy offers to buy you a drink at a bar, always ask for mozzarella sticks instead. It is recommended that you do most of your eating in bed.


Join the WNBA’s Timeless Torches, and may we suggest maybe wearing those pants out in public while doing sunset arms frequently, just a thought. If you find yourself with some free time consider using your brain power to formulate new words to describe bodily functions. This can be done by combing existing words (i.e. Snarting) or using your name as a play on words (i.e. Lizzing). You can also begin conducting ground breaking social experiments; such as dressing up as an elderly woman, while carrying a fowl smelling gym bag and acting crazy in public, all in the name of testing human boundaries. If these activities have left you overly tired, pee in the shower to save time. NOTE: Engaging in all of the above activities will be equally effective when human repelling.


Never ever exercise.*
*For general health concerns and well-being this is perhaps better left unexamined


Avoid sex or make it fast and only on Saturdays. On the off chance you find yourself having sex, leave your blazer on. Liz recommends Rico’s blazer shop if you need to pick one up. If all else fails in this department, find an attractive distant cousin. We are not saying it is ok to date your cousin, but if you happen to unknowingly end up on a date with a distant relative, take the night off; the man repelling should naturally take care of its self.


This is possibly the most important aspect of man repelling. If you manage to follow all the above guidelines and men still find you appealing, your only escape lies in your demeanor. Try to talk about and compare all men to your fake boyfriend, Astronaut Mike Dexter. Insult future mates' current jobs and discredit any of their future goals. When traveling on your love interest’s airplane, create a passenger mutiny (unfortunately, this only works when dating a pilot, but one should always be prepared). Be overly aware of and awkward when dealing with diversity, especially in those you’re dating. This works best in cases where you mistake little people for children and/or when continuing to date someone solely to prove you’re not a racist. Lastly, never ever let an opportunity to mock pass you by. Degrade his self esteem at every available turn.

Repel away.

In utter admiration,

As Seen on SJP: Volume 2

She's at it again!

1. Moscot - MILTZEN in Tortoise 2. Warby Parker - Fillmore in Hazelwood 3. Ralph Lauren RL 6079 4. Oliver Peoples - Emerson in Coco 5. Ray Ban - 5257 in Havana

Our Favourite Oscars 2012 Moments

We realize the Oscars have come and gone, but we are still slightly obsessed. Below are the moments we would like to recall. Easily the most memorable shots of the night.

Beauty Advice: Glamour Hair

Just because awards season is sadly over (sorry Academy of Country Music Awards, but you don't count) doesn't mean you have to hang up your best frock and feather covered clutch just yet. Below are some glamourous hair looks that will be breath spring life into your look!

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