The Kardashians are back in Season

What I am not certain about is the NBA season, but I caught wind about some lockout ending or similar, but all that this means to me is that Lamar won’t have to tap into his other revenue stream (cough Khloe cough) just yet. What I do know for certain is that the Kardashians are definitely back in season.

The second season of Kim and Kourtney Take New York premiered on Sunday (as if you didn’t know that). This gift of television amazingness should probably have been called Kris and Scott Join Together for a Pity Party, regardless, I’m still riveted.

Although we already know exactly what is going to happen, (SPOILER ALERT!) Kim and Kris get divorced; the premiere episode started off with a bang in the form of a weird naked guy doing yoga, an oil enema, Avril Lavigne pretending to be relevant and overall Mason adorableness.

In case you missed it, here is what you need to know: Kris Humphries can’t find a gym in all of New York City that is suitable for his all-important training regime. He blames Mason. Scott and Kourtney don’t connect anymore and oddly sleep in separate bedrooms. They blame Mason. Everyone is forced to try wildly unappealing health food. They blame Mason. And Jonathan Cheban is now in the main cast. I don’t know whom to blame for this, but when I find out…!

I guess next week tune in to see what kind of havoc Mason will cause next. I’m sure he is actually the main reason behind Kimmy’s divorce, not the personality and social etiquette that Kris Humphries obviously lacks. And hopefully everyone will gather on the balcony again to take photos of themselves like we all do in our 2-story luxury loft hotel rooms.

Dashingly yours,


Also, at some point this season, there’s this:


Bradley Cooper we do not accept.

The Ultimate Role Model

Miss Piggy exhibits all the elegance, charisma and over confidence that any prima donna needs in order to actuate her status and self-preservation. I wholeheartedly believe Miss Piggy considers classic beauties like Sofia Lauren and Marilyn Monroe as her contemporaries and let me say, I concur.

Throughout the decade we refer to as the 90’s, the whole Muppet gang was a constant fixture in the Caitlin imagination. Between the tender ages of 3 to 12, Miss Piggy seemed to epitomize style and grace in my mind, and her relationship with Kermit was what I was striving for and let’s face it, still am.

In my humble opinion a huge aspect of Piggy’s charm and star power lies in her eye shadow. It’s flattering, timeless and permanent. I realize most Muppets do appear to be wearing eye shadow in addition to a thick stroke of black eyeliner, but Piggy’s eyes are exemplified by thick enviable lashes.

She is the closest a non-human will ever get to Hollywood glamour. And A-List Glamour she does achieve while rocking a decidedly curvy figure that can only best be described in her own words as an “extra fabulous, give me some of that figure.”

If the above mentioned isn’t enough to convince you of Miss Piggy’s gumption, she often refers to herself as moi. Yes, she uses it incorrectly as a personal pronoun when it’s actually an object, but I can tell you that moi owns it.

In fabulousness,


Unattainable Workspaces

One could argue that in order to be continuously creative and productive one must surround themself in an inspiring and aesthetically pleasing environment. However, I know this not to be the case considering I produced some pretty amazing collages in university while sitting on the floor of my tiny boring dorm room while inhaling rubber cement….But it is possible those collages could have been better, nay genius, had I been cutting and pasting in 2-story airy loft.

Below I have compiled a display of what my ideal workspace would look like. Obviously these are purely representational of an overall theme and the likelihood of ever realistically achieving these looks is limited. I mean real workspaces have cords, post-its, and wastebaskets!

Studiously yours,


Why you aren’t attracted to Ted Mosby**

**this is in no way a personal attack on actor Josh Radner.
Ted, more formally known as Theodor Evelyn Mosby, by all accounts should be attractive. We should all want to date Ted for the following reasons:
  1. He has a good job and is moderately successful at a really young age. Ted is an Architect, a practicing Professor of Architecture, and is designing the new GNB Building, a project that is presumably a big deal in fictional New York City. All very impressive!
  2. He has a nice apartment in New York City. It has exposed brick, two bedrooms, a fire escape AND what seems like rooftop that is instantly accessible via said fire escape.
  3. He is looking to commit. He wants to meet a woman who is ready to get married and settle down. He also plans cute romantic dates, a rare trait that we should all respect.
  4. He is loyal and has great friends.
All of these are valid reasons, but let me be honest, if I am hanging out at McLarens Pub I’m leaving with either Barney or Marshall (sorry, Lilly) and I think you’re doing the same. Ted isn’t even in the running. And here is why:
  1. He has odd style, as everyone on that show does. For people, the girls especially, who live in New York and have good jobs this crew is often off the mark style wise, but I digress. Teds fashions I don’t understand, its college kid meets Grandpa Mosby and I can’t get onboard. I agree with Barney in wishing that he would suit up on occasion.
  2. He’s a bit of a Ross. Ross Geller that is. Obsessed with academia, being right all the time and he is needy. Lacks Marshall’s (Chandler’s) humour and the raw sexual appeal of Barney (or Joey). Ted, these are turnoffs.
  3. He is desperate. He already bought a house for his non-existent family to live in, he tells girls he loves them too soon, he is far too sentimental, lacks confidence and he overanalyses everything (basically he is a girl, I am overanalysing as we speak!).
  4. Last but not least, he is going to grow up to be Bob Saget and tell you really long drawn out stories.
I wish I liked Ted. I really do, but alas I do not.

Regretfully yours,


Bradley Cooper, We (begrudgingly) Accept

On Thursday, like any sane person, I dragged Caitlin with me to purchase People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive issue. To my shock and horror it wasn’t on the shelves at our local magazine vendor; as if that stopped me. We literally found the delivery on the second floor all wrapped up and packaged. That’s right, I opened that bitch right up.

For the remainder of the day it sat, unopened on my desk, begging me to judge the men inside. And that I did.

Before you freak out: yes, we agree. Ryan Gosling. It is outrageous (I heard he was offered and turned it down). People relax. He gets enough sexy credit. 74.6% of which come from yours truly. But we accept Bradley Cooper, based on the spread People has provided us alone. People you’ve done your duty, you’ve compiled a list of generically attractive, American men who have mass appeal and get us every time. I am always more than willing to gawk at classic sexy like Clooney and Pitt, and this year you even offered me a funny=sexy section (Aziz Ansari. Yes!). Alas, Bradley Cooper, we accept.

However, as is custom for most self-respecting females, and because you are still getting to know us, we thought we would share with you a few, in our opinion, sexy men that People Magazine overlooked. We are attributing sexiness to these men based on looks, talent and bright futures. Be forewarned: this list, as do our hearts, can change on a daily basis.

Caitlin and Lauren do Sexiest Man Alive

Drake. As any true Toronto girl knows, when this boi says things like, “do me like the women from my town would” it’s sex.

Taylor Kitsch. Two words: Tim Riggins. Yes, I will see Battleship. Yes I will see John whoever you are Carter.

Kid Cudi. Did you see that sex scene between, Rachel and Domingo? He is teeny, but I’ll get over it.

Andrew Garfield. He’s pretty, he’s talented, he’s got taste (dating my girl Emma Stone), and he’s got an accent.

Roger Sterling. I mean John Slattery, definition of Silver Fox.

Joseph Gordon Levitt. His smile; it’s the cutest.

Prince Harry. If you don’t see it now, you’ll never see it. Also, he is royalty.

Conan O’Brien. Unconventional, but the laughter. Oh the laughter.

Dwayne Wade. ‘Nuf said

Javier Bardem. Shout out to the Europeans. People often neglects these foreign smoothies.

Romantically yours,


Who Run this World? Girls.

Look, I try not to covet what other people have, but in the spirit of celebrating a few topical items, I can’t help myself. The next generation of girls is shaping up delightfully.

If Wills and Kate have a daughter she can be Queen! The optimism this invokes is doing wonders for our girls’ self-esteem. History has graced us with extraordinary Queens (Elizabeth I, hollah!) and better yet we can only assume that a future Queen will have impeccable style that we can all relish and imitate; Queen Elizabeth continues to rock those pastel separates, so can you imagine the wardrobe of a Kate Middleton-spawned Queen? Think about it. Un-freaking-stoppable.

Kelly Rowland, seemingly let it slip that Jay and B are having a baby girl! A future Queen B Junior? I have some equally, if not higher, hopes for this kid; set to inherit the musical talents, swag and throne of Beyoncé AND Jay-Z. Even without the alleged 2,200 square foot nursery, this kid will be cooler than all of us combined. She gonna run this town.

Kimmy’s dispose-a-husband Kris Humphries agrees to sign divorce papers! Thank you Kris Humphries for graciously agreeing to spare us the spawn of you and Kim. I love all things Kardashian, but wasn’t sure the world was ready for that disaster of a child, it would be no Mason (I’m not even sure about that kid anyway). Also as a special, not to be overlooked, bonus to this news item, we got to witness Kristen Wiig kill it as Kris Kardashian last week on SNL, proof that our own generation of girls are running shit.

Harper Beckham is really freaking cute! Do I need to explain Harper Beckham? She’s already rocking it hard and she’s 4 months old. I’m jealous of her wardrobe already. That Bonpoint frock!


Disrespect us? No they won't.

Office Meetings

When you work in an office you have a boss. If you have a boss you have to go to meetings. Bosses like to have impromptu meetings, often about nothing, and sometimes you’re included and sometimes you’re not.

There are 3 types of meetings:

The one you want to attend.

Maybe there is a big announcement or similar, but let’s be real; you just want to get out of working at your desk and put in some well-deserved zone out time. Just sit back and relax. If anyone asks for your opinion on something, you’ll have to improvise/bull shit, but you’re good at that right, I mean how did you get the job in the first place?

The closed door meeting that is no doubt about you.

Ok, it’s probably not about you, but you think it is. Ideally you are close buds with someone who is in the meeting and can report back any two-facing-behind-back-talk. Offices are notorious for gossip so this type of talk is plentiful. In these cases try to make friends with someone on every level of your company just to be sure that you are getting any and all juicy material.

The long and totally useless meeting that is about nothing at all and is really just an opportunity for your boss to talk about himself and his experience in the industry.

If you do find yourself to be sitting in on this meeting, get out quick. You could be doing much more important things like crawling the internet for deals on shoes, watching cat videos or Googling pictures of Ryan Gosling. So get out of it. Options are limited, but sometimes you can get away with going to the bathroom (blame too much coffee and bring your cellphone for entertainment in the can) or fake a temporary illness like you’re choking on a piece of croissant or you’ve suddenly got a dust particle in your eye (again bring your cellphone to the bathroom).

One day maybe you'll have your own company and you'll be able to announce impromptu department wide meetings where you can talk about your numerous exploits in the dog breeding industry. So before you show any sympathy for that employee/coworker that had to rush out of the meeting because they ate tacos the night before and got a powerful case of the runs, consider the above.

Pensively yours,



So I bought them.

Was considering using the scrilla to go to Watch the Throne. The value of money is a hard lesson to learn. The value of killer shoes is an easy one indeed.

It's been a long old trouble long old troublesome road

Bryan Greenberg, do you remember when you were on One Tree Hill? Remember when you played Jake Jagielski, the unassuming teenage father playing guitar and romancing the ladies of Tree Hill? Remember when you and Peyton kidnapped that baby!? I do.

Bryan Greenberg, do you remember when you were in the Perfect Score, when you and Scarlett Johansson tried to steal that pesky SAT test, causing adolescent mayhem in the process? I do.

Bryan Greenberg, do you remember when you were in the show about the guy who returned to his hometown to apologize to Laura Pepron or something. I nearly do.

But I always remembered you. Thought you had such potential, always wanted to be attracted to you. The thought lingered in my mind, but I couldn’t commit. I’m not easily wooed; I need to appreciate your talent before your above average looks.

But Bryan Greenberg, do you remember when I realized you could sing more than just lullaby’s to your fictional daughter? Do you remember when How to Make It in America premiered and you instantly had my heart?  Of course you do, it was the day you finally, out of nowhere, won me over. You showed me not only your talent, but also ability to make good choices. The show’s distinct humor, style and grit speak for itself. But you and it floated in and out of my life in eight quick episodes.

Recently, I experienced a hard time. I can’t afford HBO, (an ongoing hassle). On top of that, my washing machine broke, my stove stopped working, all the lights in my apartment suddenly needed new bulbs and my beloved computer fried. Quelle dommage.

I was at a loss; these disasters coincided with the premiere of your new season. I heard good things, people astonished I hadn’t seen it, and I couldn’t join in. I purchased a new computer recently, (shout out to Caitlin for helping me discover the joys of a brand new MacBook Pro) and the first night I watched the start of Season 2 and didn’t stop.

You’re looking good; I laughed when (spoiler alert!) Ben experienced the Neanderthal high, I’m hot for the extramarital affair, you tugged at my heartstrings when Ben and Cam fought over the rights to Crisp. You were there for me, and pulled me out of what seemed like a dimly lit, appliance-less depression. I’m in, it's on.

So much so, a close friend met you at a party recently. I have yet to bring myself to talk to him about it, I’m so jealous.

Tentatively yours,


PS. Listen to Bryan Greenberg’s music, its good. You Can Run ft. Caitlin’s boi, Kid Cudi is particularly enjoyable.

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