I generally set goals for the year, they are occasionally professional, sometimes personal and, more often than not, pop culture related. In 2012 I really wanted to start watching Breaking Bad, and last week, in unwavering commitment, I have officially checked that off my list and just under the wire too!
It was really fabulous viewing. However, the adoption of a new drama, particularly a drug/crime/insane based drama, is accompanied by a whole new set of worries. Thus, I present to you the things I was a little extra worried about in 2012 as a direct result of Breaking Bad:
1. Being in love with Jesse Pinkman.
This is an immediate concern as I am not sure what it says about my taste in men. Sure, I have secretly harbored a crush on Aaron Paul since Big Love, but this is different. Like in my mind I consider Jesse Pinkman dateable and secretly hope that Walt would join us for dinner one night. I'd also quite pleased if when we move in together he brings the roomba...but I digress. Thank goodness he broke up with Andrea and is single again.
2. That every weird store or restaurant in my neighborhood is a front for drug money laundering.
Lets get real people. Restaurants that are always empty, those questionable fur shops, sketchy corner auto repair places, there are too many to list. My sheltered soul would never have believed it before, but I am a little extra convinced that some sort of Walter White-eqsue happenings are a foot.
3. Ricin poisoning.
I can't be alone here. Also that Lily of the Valley sickness. It could be lurking anywhere. Don't take a cigarette from anyone, even if he is as hot as Jesse Pinkman.
4. Albuquerque, New Mexico.
This is a bit of a generalization, but I can never go there.
5. Having to have my house fumigated and/or having my laundry sent out.
These situations have always worried me as I am never 100% into people coming to my home to do anything. I've panicked when my mother has secretly cleaned my place without my knowledge. Also I am very paranoid about other people doing my laundry and shrinking things! Anyway, the added concern of cooking meth in my home or around my clothes, no thank you.
6. That people used to and still do dress like this.
Even when they are as hot as Jesse Pinkman.
7. That if Landry Clark can break bad, anyone can. I realize it wasn't Landry Clark who (SPOILER ALERT) shot that kid, but still it was still pretty distressing. What would Coach say?!
Since clearing my schedule Caitlin has been urging me to start watching Homeland as of late, although I am not sure I want to start developing more (irrational?) worries about terrorism and homeland security on top of all this.
Unnervingly yours,
Lauren Pinkman
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