Office Meetings

When you work in an office you have a boss. If you have a boss you have to go to meetings. Bosses like to have impromptu meetings, often about nothing, and sometimes you’re included and sometimes you’re not.

There are 3 types of meetings:

The one you want to attend.

Maybe there is a big announcement or similar, but let’s be real; you just want to get out of working at your desk and put in some well-deserved zone out time. Just sit back and relax. If anyone asks for your opinion on something, you’ll have to improvise/bull shit, but you’re good at that right, I mean how did you get the job in the first place?

The closed door meeting that is no doubt about you.

Ok, it’s probably not about you, but you think it is. Ideally you are close buds with someone who is in the meeting and can report back any two-facing-behind-back-talk. Offices are notorious for gossip so this type of talk is plentiful. In these cases try to make friends with someone on every level of your company just to be sure that you are getting any and all juicy material.

The long and totally useless meeting that is about nothing at all and is really just an opportunity for your boss to talk about himself and his experience in the industry.

If you do find yourself to be sitting in on this meeting, get out quick. You could be doing much more important things like crawling the internet for deals on shoes, watching cat videos or Googling pictures of Ryan Gosling. So get out of it. Options are limited, but sometimes you can get away with going to the bathroom (blame too much coffee and bring your cellphone for entertainment in the can) or fake a temporary illness like you’re choking on a piece of croissant or you’ve suddenly got a dust particle in your eye (again bring your cellphone to the bathroom).

One day maybe you'll have your own company and you'll be able to announce impromptu department wide meetings where you can talk about your numerous exploits in the dog breeding industry. So before you show any sympathy for that employee/coworker that had to rush out of the meeting because they ate tacos the night before and got a powerful case of the runs, consider the above.

Pensively yours,

Caitlin